Presence of God: Fear or Love?

One of the lecturers in my spiritual direction training at West Virginia Institute for Spirituality was a wise theologian, a diminutive and strong woman from the Philippines, who made a point that has always stayed with me: The presence of God in the Old Testament, she said, is fear-based, and the awareness of God in the New Testament is love-based.

Dr. Alex, a psychologist and therapist, gives us a scientific basis for how the way we think affects us:

Fear-based and love-based refer to different types of memories and decision-making. Fear-based memories turn on the stress response, which releases cortisol in the brain, resulting in negative symptoms such as increased blood pressure and blood sugar, and impaired immunity. Love-based memories can release oxytocin in the brain, resulting in positive symptoms such as increased bonding and connection, lowered blood pressure, and increased immune function. Love-based decision-making is based on what we want to happen, while fear-based decision-making is based on what we don't want to happen.

Jonah, the prophet, typifies fear-based thinking. He did not want to go to Nineveh because these people were violent enemies of the Hebrews. He was most probably frightened to have to go and preach to people who might well reject him and worse. So he got on a ship planning to go Tarshish which was on the other side of the Mediterranean Sea in the opposite direction from Nineveh. He was, it seems, running away from God. He did not know the crew who did not know him either. He was sleeping when a terrible storm blew up and threatened to swamp the ship. He thought it was a result of God’s anger with him because of his cowardice. Yet he surely knew that God helped Moses who felt woefully inadequate to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt and sent his eloquent brother with him to be their speaker.

Knowledge is not the same as experiencing the presence of God.

Jonah admitted to the frightened sailors that he thought the storm was the result of God’s wrath at him. He told them to throw him overboard, but at first, they were reluctant to sacrifice him. Finally in desperation they tossed him into the churning waters and as it is written in Jonah, 17 [c]But the Lord provided a large fish to swallow up Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. It took perseverance for Jonah to live and survive in that horrible environment. He had no choice, though, and no doubt felt powerless. At last he prayed desperately to God: “I called to the Lord out of my distress, and he answered me; out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice…  Deliverance belongs to the Lord!”

Jonah was vomited onto the shore of Nineveh. Now, he had the strength and courage to walk across the very large city of Nineveh and tell his enemies that God was going to destroy them in forty days because of their evil ways.

He’d tried to escape this seemingly impossible task, but now he was empowered to proceed.  Somehow being in that big fish belly had prepared him for the difficult task he’d tried to avoid. And the Ninevites respected him and heard God and repented which means they turned away from their evil. As a result, God was merciful and decided not to destroy them.

But Jonah was angry.  And the Lord said, “Is it right for you to be angry?” 5 Then Jonah went out of the city and sat down east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, waiting to see what would become of the city. (Jonah 4: 4-5)

God grew a large bush to shelter Jonah from the heat, but then a worm ate the bush. Jonah was upset for the bush. But God asked him how come he felt bad about a short-lived shrub and not about tens of thousands of people.

I wonder how often we wish to be forgiving and non-judgmental but, like Jonah, wish God would still crush our enemies, perhaps people who have hurt us, or people from another culture and religion, people who seem different.

Jonah’s experience of God sounds terrifying and overwhelming and yet the big fish is symbolic of healing not destruction, and God’s relenting is a sign of mercy not meanness.

We all need mercy because we often react out of fear-based thinking and hang onto anger.

For instance, when I went to Australia to visit my brother, we were both emotionally vulnerable since he too had recently been divorced. Sibling rivalry between us had often resulted in rows. We had a whale of an argument while I was at his house that resulted in him throwing me out of his house in the dark far from the nearest town. I was certain it had all been his fault, but once I got back to the States, I reached out to try to repair our relationship. He ignored me and so I decided I’d had enough and ignored him back. He was to blame, not me, so I thought.

But the Experience of God always results in the fruit of loving kindness.

One night, I dreamed my brother was on a gurney being wheeled into an operating room for open-heart surgery. And then…in the dream, I was on another gurney being wheeled into another operating room next to the one he was in also for open heart surgery. 

I realized, after that dream, that he was not the only one responsible for our falling out. My admission, at least to myself, that I was also culpable opened a pathway between us. My brother’s time was limited, but he took a few days to travel all the way from Tasmania for my wedding to Philip.

Consider how you might be acting out of fear and anger and ask Mystery (Christ, God, Allah, Shekinah etc to set you on a path to love more deeply and recognize that you too might need forgiveness and  healing.

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Jonah 3: 3-5, 10

3 The word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time, saying, 2 “Get up, go to Nineveh, that great city, and proclaim to it the message that I tell you.” 3 So Jonah set out and went to Nineveh, according to the word of the Lord. Now Nineveh was an exceedingly large city, a three days’ walk across. 4 Jonah began to go into the city, going a day’s walk. And he cried out, “Forty days more, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” 5 And the people of Nineveh believed God; they proclaimed a fast, and everyone, great and small, put on sackcloth.

10 When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil ways, God changed his mind about the calamity that he had said he would bring upon them, and he did not do it.